From focus to action

There is an incredible amount of focus on bullying in these times. Both DR and TV2 has run successful series on the topic, and by the International Safer Internet Day d. 5. February 2013 var temaet Connect With Respect. A theme is more relevant than ever.

Children and young people's access to social media has increased exponentially by the possibility of cheap smartphones, importation of the tablets and the general ease of access to computers and consoles. Communicate in crisscross the Platforms and many find that they feel left out, if they do not follow.

While the kids are at home accustomed to these new media, is the upbringing and socialization not properly followed with because we adults lags pitifully behind.

Now I hear even the generation, whose youth was marked by the Internet and phone entry. Back then, I was among the so-called 'first movers', which I am deeply grateful for today. Otherwise I might have been among the many of my peers, as well as the older generations, as humanly can not keep kids suit.

What is the 'correct method’ to help our future generations to succeed in the global village? I have not found a definitive answer, but I have become wiser.

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As I describe in this article it is ultimately the adults' responsibility to have given our children the skills to be successful in digital.
It is a responsibility which implies that we adults participate in children's activities on the Internet and mobile on an equal footing with the participation we have in the rest of their lives.

Note, I write participant.

Kids today are not much different than all other generations.
If the adults are for snooping, controlling or controlling over it, kids consider their private domain, they will react adversely.

There are many solutions nowadays, where parents can participate in their children's digital privacy – also without the children's consent, mind you.
Even Windows operating systems come with parental controls as standard, and many schools have built-in filters on the network so that children can not access the unintended topics. I was actually believer until I was introduced to the alternative – communication rather than restriction.

It requires a lot more and is not all just naturally. At least in the beginning.
If one does not feel comfortable with the digital world it is difficult to convey a positive and informative approach to the younger generation. It is therefore better to play with open cards for kids.

I experience time after time parents get a little lost and disheartened to their rapidly evolving digital child. To them I have the simple advice: join.

It may be perceived as if I have a let fair Access to the topic but nej – it is certainly not the case. I am not a fan of either / or pedagogy.
Instead it is about embracing and organizing form for the kids as well be authentic.

Do you not honk if your baby is doing? Well then Acknowledge it to both of you. If you try to bluff your way, you will be discovered. Children are too sharp.

You still have your opinions about what should be done, and common sense are ultimately it as your child learn to reflect in.

Do you have some concerns about what happens? Ask about what the child is doing WITHOUT color child. Easier said end done, for we are all colored in our approach to the world. But try.

Let me take a few topics, who have been exposed so abundant in the media.


It may well be you are scared to death it with digital bullying, read 10 various articles about the terrible events that may cause, but your child has most likely no idea of ​​the kind yet. Bullying occurs but it is far from all children who experience it.

One of the main reasons for, that digital bullying is found, the parents did not give the children the ballast it takes to succeed in a nonphysical, often face- and voting resolved, community.


There is much talk about adults who molest children online and entices them everything.
Many new chat and online forums allow you to communicate with anyone, anytime. It's no longer about how a person looks but how they behave digital. What actions are being undertaken and which answers the children give.

Today, almost all chats and online forums built safety nets to catch unwanted individuals.
Children Pages as Movie Star Planet gives children easy opportunity to report unwanted behavior.

Profiles and friendships

Today is part of an active social life to chat, sms'e, tweeting and using Facebook and similar sites. Often, the images are exchanged, as new generations are very visual.
Therefore, it is to have profiles, avatars and other forms of online social interaction natural and necessary.
It can be really hard to understand, why children and young people would rather sit in front of computer / phone and communicate than to meet friends offline.
Say he bare the, that their contact with each other often sporadic but continuous. A picture here, a short message that. Not a person but to the entire social circle. Post something on Facebook, and all your friends / followers can see it all at once.

We did not have the kind of communication when we were kids, so it's a new world. It is the new generation of world.

Exercise digital upbringing

So how can you exercise digital upbringing?
It may be briefly summarized:

  • Attend
  • Ask
  • Search
  • Be authentic

Sit down with your child. See when the player / doctors / printer. Be interested and open. Allow the child to show you what is exciting, fun, strange o.a.

If the child likes to play games, so play with or look at. This is also how children play with each other digitally so if you want to understand their mutual rules, so join. The child can show you his life and will feel like you are playing with. Exactly as if in playing a board game or playing with Lego.

The older the child, the more privacy it needs. If you have laid the foundation for your participation while your child is small, will your participation be natural when the child becomes a teenager. Just that you specifically need openness 🙂


Ask questions about what the child is doing but also be aware, that it has not always been thinking about why it chooses to do as it does. Children are by nature not reflective in the younger years but if you are, the child will learn from you.
A healthy critical mind is one of the keys to a healthy social tone.

Have your child digital learning in school or a digital daily life in the institution / SFO / club ask into teachers 'and educators' practices and experiences.
You have the right to have questions and opinions about your child's day, and at the same time, teachers and educators have done some thinking about their digital influence of children.

Often there are guidelines made by the municipality, or they have their own individual institutions.

I hope not, that institutions in Denmark today, as uncritically let kids loose in the digital society.


Information is gold. Ignorance is not an excuse anymore, for you to be informed on Children and digital development so many places. A simple Google search throws up articles on the strip, and by far the most – if not all – Websites and services to children who have a parent department / Information for Parents.

On linksiden you will find links to information about / for the digital child (and its parents).
If you insist on being scared witless so just follow the daily press. The sensations are there enough of but there is always newsworthy facts and research.

Be authentic

You are a human, not an omniscient robot that can be updated with the latest information by means of a program or chip.
Stand by yourself, your experience and the lack thereof. There are many fake and superficial people in this world, and a healthy critical mind and self-esteem is rare to find in these.

You can not ensure your little pus against the evils of the world but you can introduce it for good tone, factuality, self-esteem and the ability to distinguish good from bad. That way you equip your child to a world you have no clue, how is.

Are you unsure about how to tackle your digital baby, try to remove the situation from the digital world into the physical. It may not always be possible, but try.

If your child is experiencing nasty messages, what would you do if it had happened physically in the schoolyard?
What would you say to the child and how would you act?

If your child came home with an assignment in a subject you do not really know anything about, what would you do? Do the same if it comes to a new game / home etc..

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Common sense but with emotions

We come furthest with common sense but 'unfortunately’ we have all the emotions here.

The human instinct is to become defensive when something is new and dangerous, but as the new explored, and some form of knowledge established, reduced fear.

The digital world is actually pretty amazing, and children need to be successful on the digital highway as well as with cars on.

It's totally okay that be wary, confused and sometimes scared witless but do your best to you as well as your child. That way, the kids grow up in this new dimension of our co-existence with the same understanding as the rest of us have always gone in.